Who Are You
by WeLostTouch
Summary: One day while walking along the Eastern Woods, Toris meets a strange girl from the land forever in winter. Something about the mysterious girl captivates him, pushing him to search high and low for her true identity. Third installment of the "Who I Am" series.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"It's your fault this happened Toris!"

"Feliks, if you keep struggling like that you're only going to hurt yourself." Lithuania soaked a rag in water to dab his friend's brow. "I did not expect this to happen after the war…"

"Fuck if I believe you!" Poland struggled against the restraints that kept him tied down to the floor. "If you did not know what was coming, why do you get to stay in the house? Why are you working as a servant for that bastard? Tell me, Toris. 'Cause until now I thought you and I were friends."

"We are friends, Feliks. Trust me."

"Then why didn't you fight with me?" Feliks looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "We were beaten like shit during the war, but if we stood together we wouldn't be in this rat hole Soviet Union."

"I couldn't."

"What do you mean you couldn't?"

"Feliks, I couldn't fight. I never expected this, but I couldn't fight." Toris did his best to clean the wounds on Feliks's wrists, but the leather restraints got in the way. "I don't want things to be this way… I just thought that if it was her it would be okay to be friends."

"Fucking pink scarf." His flaxen haired friend spat into the air. "After all those years moping over a girl, see where it got you? No lame ass name to call her by. No clue as to where she came from or where she disappeared to. Just a fucking pink scarf."

Toris sighed. "You know I hate it when you curse. It really doesn't suit you."

"Neither does leather restraints." Feliks managed a half hearted grin. "I always preferred silk to leather."

"Still able to joke." Toris dabbed his friend's forehead again before standing up. "I need to go back up. Otherwise I'll get in trouble with Ivan."

"You say we're still friends, right?"

"Of course."

"Then will you do me a favor then; as a friend?"

"Anything."

"Put a slug between that foul smelling idiot's shoulders for me."

Toris sighed as he closed the cell door. He mumbled quietly to himself as he walked down the cold corridor toward the stairs. "All I wanted was to see her smile for real. Was I wrong for wanting to help her?"

Xx

"OUCH!"

One of the practice arrows that stuck in his pant leg had managed to pierce the skin. Not a lot of damage was done, but it still stung quite a bit. This time Prussia came over to test out a new bow he received for being given the title of Prussia. The albino never gave Toris his human name, so until that day he only knew him as the nameless caped boy that bullied him regularly.

"Was it really necessarily to test the bow twelve times?" Toris threw the last shaft into a pile with the rest. "What did I ever do to deserve any of this?"

Small drops of blood fell onto the fresh crust of winter snow as he walked along his eastern border. Prussia had chased him almost into the land stuck in harsh winter. The snow made life hard at his home, but stories circulated that on the other side of the forest was a land that was carved out of ice and was a frozen as the deepest parts of hell. No one dared to travel through the woods and he certainly was thankful he wasn't chased into the mysterious realm.

"Just wait until I make an alliance…" Toris mumbled to himself what he was too afraid to tell the stronger nation. "When I have a friend or two or maybe even three, no one will think to ever bully us. Just you-"

"Hahahaha!"

Toris stopped in his tracks. Someone in a thick winter coat was lying in the soft powdered snow just ahead of him. The stranger was laughing and giggling despite the cold. He thought this odd and spoke without thought. "Oh. I didn't know that there was anyone around here."

The stranger fell silent when he approached. He looked down at the stranger and was caught by their bright blue eyes. Their beige coat was missing the third button from the top and their boots' soles looked heavily worn. They did not seem hostile, so Toris offered a friendly greeting. "Hello."

Without warning, the stranger rolled away from him with a sudden jolt. Startled, Toris lost his balance and fell backwards on to his bottom with a loud crunch. The stranger stared at him warily as they spoke. "What do you want?"

The low voice sounded strange, but scared him none the less. He heard of people that would just as easily skin a friendly traveler as they would a rabbit. Right now his heart beat was so rapid he felt like he was a rabbit.

"N-n-nothing," he stammered. "I just was not expecting to find someone so close to such a scary place."

"It's not so scary."

The stranger seemed to soften and offer his hand. Toris accepted it with a smile. "Then you're much braver than I am."

"You're hurt!"

Toris jumped at the stranger's outburst. Looking at where they were pointing he saw a shaft from one last practice arrow poking out of his shoulder. Thankful that he was wearing a thick coat, Toris felt a little wave of relief. "Oh! Looks like I missed one. That Prussia boy came over again to bully me. Guess it's a good thing my jacket is so thick."

"Someone has been picking on you?"

"Yeah, I'm not that strong…" It was embarrassing to admit, but the truth was the truth. Then he remembered what his boss told him about making a new friend. "But one day I will make friends with lots of other nations. Then no one will be able to beat us up because we will protect each other."

"Do you have friends already?" the stranger asked with a surprising amount of interest.

Toris let out a nervous laugh. He wasn't used to holding conversations with anyone he did not know for a long time. Something felt different about this one though. It wasn't so bad talking with this person. "Well my boss is going to marry this other nation's boss soon. My boss really wants me to get along with that guy, but he is a little hard to handle."

"What is it like to have a friend?"

The statement dumbfounded Toris. He did not have any friends that were nations, but he had some human friends that he was fond of. Toris wondered if the stranger meant friend in general. "You don't have any friends?"

With an unmoved face, the stranger shook their head no. He stared at them for a moment and tried to imagine life without a companion. It was a very sad thought indeed. "I could be your friend…"

Their eyes lit up. "You would be friends with me?"

The stranger's reaction made him feel happy. "Only if you were okay with being friends with someone like me, of course."

Then before he could realize what was happening, Toris was being held in a tight hug. After the shock wore off, he felt slightly awkward with how long the embrace was lasting. He finally spoke up when after several ore seconds passed the stranger did not let go. "Um… Is it normal for two boys to hug where you are from?"

The stranger instantly let go of him and crouched down on the ground. A much softer voice than before replied back to him. "I'm a girl."

"Girl?" It took him a moment, but after closely examining the stranger he noticed how feminine the coat's design was and how the features of their face were soft like a women's. When it finally clicked, a bright flush of blush heated his face. "I'm sorry! It's my fault! I just assumed with your short hair and thick coat that… Not that you look masculine or anything!"

He rambled on as he always did when he was embarrassed, but the girl stopped him. "Thank you very much for your offer to be my friend, but we cannot be friends. At least not right now."

"We can't?" His heart fell a little.

"But I would like to see you again… But I don't know when I will get another chance to leave… Can we meet again?"

Now his heart leaped making him blush again. "Of course! I don't live too far from here, and I take a lot of walks over here so..."

The girl smiled brightly at him and then ran off. She only looked back once to call back at him, "Then we shall meet again some other day. It's a promise."

"Wait!" The girl never stopped running. "I never caught your name!"

He watched her until she disappeared among the trees. Staring at the tracks left behind by her boos he smiled. She would be his first friend made on his own. No one was pushing him into the friendship. It just happened. Smiling, he repeated her last words. "It's a promise…"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The long trek back home did not seem to bother him. Sure there was snow on the ground and his leg hurt from being the only hit of Prussia's that dealt damage, but he felt warm as he walked and the pain in his leg seemed distant. He wondered if his boss would be excited about him making a new friend. Toris was not the most outgoing of nations after all.

"Hey," a shout come from up ahead. A man that worked in Toris's boss's house was calling from on top a sentential tower. "What happened to you? You look full of holes."

"It was the albino boy again." Toris waved at the man. "Is the gate open still?"

"Of course it is. The duke would never leave you without a way back home."

"Thank you."

Most nations had their own home separate from where their country's leader lived. Toris was not one of these nations. He had spent most of his life living under the careful watch of one family after another. As far back as he could remember he lived in the same large home of his leader. When he reached the tall gates a sense of home rushed over him. Servants scuttled here and there lighting lamps and torches for the quickly falling night.

"There you are, Toris!" A stout woman yelled across the court yard. "Hurry here. Hurry here. We need to get you dressed at once!"

Toris trotted across the flag stone yard up to the stone steps. "What am I getting dressed for?"

"Were you told? The representatives from Poland will be arriving any moment now."

"Is that so…" Toris shuddered slightly. His few experiences with the Polish nation left him with the impression that the blond could careless whether Toris was there or not. Whenever they were supposed to be working on forming a friendship, the foreign nation droned on and on about himself leaving little room to interject. If Toris managed to get a word in, the young man would tune out or get distracted by almost anything around them. He did not know whether the nation really did have the attention span of a fly or if he simply did not like him.

The short woman half pushed Toris up to his room where three other servants were waiting to dress and groom him. A green tunic with gold and bronze embroidery was chosen with a heavy leather belt embellished with stags carved into the material. While one servant was brushing his hair, another was trying to decide if he should wear a head piece of some sort or pull his hair back. Toris never liked dressing up and asked that he be allowed to keep his hair down and as is. The servants decided to pull the top layer of his hair back into a tail and decorate it with a gold hair pin. One look in the mirror confirmed his fears. He looked like a girl.

After much reassurance and coaxing, Toris arrived in his bosses throne room. With a formal bow, he greeted with a practiced "Good evening, my lord."

"Toris, my boy. Where have you been?"

"I ran into a little trouble with a familiar albino…"

"Really now. How many times do I have to tell you to stand up for yourself. Next time you see that boy tell him that you will not put up with such harassment any longer. Then punch him square in the nose."

Toris tried to imagine himself punching Prussia in the face. The mental image was enough to make him crack a smile. "I shall keep that in mind."

"Anything else happen of interest?"

Toris smiled brightly and spoke with enthusiasm. "Oh, that's right! You will never guess what I did today. I made a-"

A trumpet interrupted his sentence. "Announcing the representatives of the beautiful nation of Poland."

A short precession of Polish nobles paraded into the throne room. At the end of the train, clad in a long pink tunic and dawning a jeweled head band, was the ever flamboyant Feliks Łukasiewicz. His blond hair was braided and pull entirely back into a tail tied off with a pink silk ribbon. Toris no longer feared that he appeared too feminine and instead worried if forming an alliance with this nation was really going to be a wise decision.

"Greetings," his boss strated. "We welcome you -our prestigious guests- to our humble home. I hope that you find your stay here pleasant."

After the first greeting there was a long line of formal introductions and greetings followed by the insincere passing conversations that were more ceremonious than anything else. When the night grew late, Toris was instructed to lead Feliks to his chambers. Unfortunately, the Polish nations was not going to make life easy for him.

"Do you honestly expect me to stay in this room?"

Toris fought hard to not roll his eyes. "Is there something displeasing to you? This is one of our best guest rooms."

The blond turned up his nose. "This is the best you have to offer. Just look at how tacky the furnishing is. I have delicate tastes that need to be met."

"Perhaps I can offer you a different room then," Toris replied through grit teeth.

"I want to see your room."

"What?"

"I want to see your room." Poland started walking down the hall in the wrong direction. "Take me to your room."

Lithuania sighed. "It's this way."

Toris knew nothing good was going to come of showing the guest his own room, but he could not risk jeopardizing his bosses efforts at an alliance. Even if it was with such a… character. He pushed open the door to his chambers and let his visitor enter first.

"Hmmm…" Feliks looked over the room with calculating eyes. When he finished examining the canopy over the bed, he crossed his arms over his chest. "It still isn't quite up to my standards, but it will have to do."

"Pardon me?"

"I will stay in this room. You may have the other."

"What?" Toris's jaw dropped.

"You keep asking that. Do you have a hearing problem or something?" The other nation plopped one hand on Toris's shoulder. "I'm going to be staying in this room. Feel free to stay elsewhere."

"You are kidding right? This is my room. I have all of my things here."

"Oh, well you can take some knick-knacks with you I suppose. It will make more room for my luggage."

"I'm not going to change rooms. I've lived in this room for decades."

"Tcht-" Feliks clucked to himself in mock thought. "Well I guess if there is no other way we will have to share the room…"

Something in the back of his mind was telling Toris he was being played with. He finally decided that his guest was probably just wanted someone to entertain him while he stayed. Trying reverse psychology, Toris agreed to the suggestion. "Then it cannot be helped. Would you like the bed or the floor?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course you'll be sleeping on the floor."

"…" Mentally done for the night, Toris grabbed an extra pillow and couple of blankets from his wardrobe and laid down on the ground beside the unlit fireplace. "Good night, Feliks."

"You're no fun," the blond whined. "You're just going to sleep? I'm bored. Talk to me."

"Good night, Feliks."

"Boo~"

Keeping his back to the other country seemed to work because before long the boy was laying in bed without his usual stream of useless babble. Just when Toris thought he could doze off himself, he discovered something he never knew about Feliks.

He snored… Loudly.

Pulling the pillow over his head, Toris tried to force himself into a dream. One where his blond guest was an actual friend. Where he was not a flamboyant attention hog. Where he was a different person all together. He dreamt of a girl running through the woods; laughing as she fell into the snow.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"_See," the blonde girl said while spinning around, arms outstretched. "It's not so scary here. The snow can be fun and the ice beautiful."_

_They had been running through the forest for some time playing tag and talking about simple things that made life enjoyable. As she spoke, they had entered a snow covered meadow. The bright sun above made the snow glisten and icicles glow softly. It looked like they were walking into a fallen piece of heaven. Instead of crunching snow beneath their feet, there were white clouds._

"_That doesn't make it any less cold," he said with a smile as he shivered. "How can you stand living in a place that is always so cold?"_

_She looked up at the sky. "I grew up here… I can't imagine it being any other way."_

"_Then you should come to my house in the summer. The snow melts away and the world turns green. We could run around without our heavy coats or boots."_

"_I would like to see that." The girl took a step backwards. "However, I must leave for now."_

"_Already?" Toris tried to reach for her, but missed. "Where are you going?"_

_She shook her head._

"_At least tell me your name."_

"_My name is-"_

"How long are you going to sleep? I'm bored!"

Toris opened his eyes to see that his guest was standing over him. He blinked a couple times before realizing he had been dreaming. Reality left a heavy lump of disappointment in his chest. "Good morning, Feliks."

"Ugh, it would be a better morning if you'd show me something interesting. This place is duller than watching ice melt." Feliks ran his fingers through his hair a couple times while looking out the window. "I don't know why we even bothered coming here."

Red flags raised and alarm bells rang in Toris's head. The alliance between their two nations was his boss's top priority. Therefore, he could not put the whole thing in jeopardy because he could not keep a house guest entertained. Springing out of bed with a forced smile he pulled on riding boots. "Have you seen out stables yet? We take very good care of our horses here. They are some of the most beautiful creatures on four legs. I promise you won't be disappointed."

The flaxen haired boy's eyes lit up instantly. "Why didn't you mention that sooner?"

Toris did not think that the stable would have been such a big hit with the visitor. When they arrived, two stable boys were just finishing their muckraking while the stable master was grooming a chestnut colored mare. Feliks quickly approached the mare's stale and stared in wonder. The mare sniffed the boy's hair and nibbled the gold locks with testing nibbles and much to Toris's surprise the Polish nation laughed it off instead of throwing a fit over his hair. Another discovery to add to the list was that Feliks Łukasiewicz loves horses.

"Would you like to go for a ride?" Toris asked without realizing what he was saying. As soon as the words left his mouth he realized that he would have to accompany the nation for however long the ride lasted. He still needed to go for a walk along the Eastern Woods.

"No!" Toris felt relief wash over him. "I couldn't… I mean I would but… I won't because…"

An idea dawned on him. Based by on the blond boy's stammering and blatant refusal, Toris came to the conclusion that the boy did not know how to ride. Unfortunately, he had yet to learn how to keep his thoughts in his head where they belong instead of slipping out of his unfiltered mouth. "You can't ride, can you…?"

Poland turned bright red and puffed up in embarrassed bravado. "Why should I bother learning to ride a horse? That's what carriages are for anyway. If I want to go anywhere I'll just call for a carriage and be on my merry way. Who would want to sit on a hard saddle on top of a sweating smelly beast? I have better things to do with my time."

Toris put his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry. It was my mistake."

"Humph…" Feliks crossed his arms and began walking out of the stables. "I'm going to find something to eat. If I stay in this putrid place much longer, the stench will cling to my clothes."

Sighing, Toris also left, but was destined for the kitchens. He often ate his meals there with the servants preferring their close company to the rigid polite meals with his boss or important guests. Dinners would have to be the exception as long as the Polish representatives were staying over. Without a doubt he would be forced to dress well and eat beside his boss with Feliks on his other side.

"Oh, why good morning, Toris," a rosy cheeked cooked greeted. "Can interest you in a couple rolls? They're fresh out of the oven, nice and hot."

"That sounds delicious." Toris let the smell of baking bread float around him like a fine perfume. "Could you pack it up with a cut of cheese for me?"

"You're going out again?" The cook looked at him curiously. "You never used to go out on your own two days in a row."

"I just feel like getting to know the land better is all."

"I doubt anyone could know these lands better than you, Toris Lorinaitis."

"I'm just going for a walk. I'll be back before dinner time, so there won't be any problems."

The cook gave him another suspicious look before wrapping the rolls in cheese in a piece of cloth. "I'm sure his lordship would have a thing or two to say about you wandering about too often."

"You won't tell him, will you?"

He smiled as he tied the parcel tight and handed it to Toris. "Was that you say? The young Lorinaitis toddled off again? No, I can't say I've seen him."

"Thank you."

"Boys your age need to do a little exploring. Now be off with you before someone else spots you."

Toris held his sweet smelling bundle close as he darted behind topiaries in attempt to reach the front gate. He never really considered himself a good fighter, but when it came to hide and seek he was a champion. Keeping low, he slipped past the guards' room and through the high wooden gate. With a quick sprint down the road for good measure, he was in the clear and free to roam about as he pleased.

His journey east would take at least two hours, but time seemed to pass quickly. He could hardly hold his excitement to see his new potential friend. She seemed like a much better person to befriend than the Polish nation. The girl was not afraid of the winter lands so she must be brave. Her words were kind and he could tell that she was actually listening to him, unlike the selfish boy prancing around his home and demanding to share his bedroom.

Xx

Hours passed and all Toris found along the East Woods was untouched snow and unpopulated scenery. The girl had not come today. Stiff from cold and fueled by hunger, Toris began the two hour walk back home.

"She did say that she didn't know when she'd be able to come again… Why did I have to say I come out here all the time? Does that mean I have to come here every day if I want to see her again? I'm going to get in so much trouble if that's the case…"

When he eventually reached the stone steps of his home, he was once again shuffled to his room and groomed to the servants' satisfaction. Dinner was awkward as was to be expected. The Polish guests and his own countrymen stumbled about clumsy conversation while He was thoroughly ignored by the visiting nation all together. Feliks seemed to hit it off with his boss though. The two talked about superficial things ranging to their countries art or history. Not that Toris indeed in the least. His legs and back were sore and he was exhausted from his all day excursion.

"Did you hear me, Toris?"

"Huh?" Toris had been staring down at a hunk of heavily seasoned meat when he noticed he was being addressed. "Forgive me, I was lost in thought."

He could feel the disapproving look before it was even formed. "Please meet with me after supper. There are a couple matters that I would like to discuss with you."

"Yes, sir."

After supper discussions in the past were usually to scold him for some reason or another. Toris figured that this time it would be for sneaking out without explaining where he was going or for leaving their "esteemed" guest alone all day. Either way, he prepared himself for a long lecture.

"The alliance is a success."

"…what?" Toris could not believe his ears. "What do you mean the alliance is a success?"

"I spent the entire day with Feliks and discussed many things from economics and foreign policy to military forces and dowries. We got along quite well. He has agreed to give his blessings to the marriage and the alliance."

"And you both decided this in one day?"

"Why of course. There is not much time to waste."

A strong shiver crawled down Toris's spine. "Shouldn't I have been a part of these discussions?"

"Well, you were nowhere to be found, which brings me to another point. How dare you leave Feliks to walk around unescorted? You need to be more hospitable. What if your rudeness caused our plans to fail?"

Muscles in his back tensed up. He did leave their guest behind, but he wandered off on his own first. However, arguing the point would get him nowhere fast. "Forgive me. There was something I had to attend to."

"I'm sure it was important." His boss made no attempt to hide the sarcasm in his voice. "We are holding a ball to celebrate the upcoming holiday and the arrival of the royal family. In that time, you better straighten up and put more effort into getting to know our new partner."

"Yes, sir…" Toris paused before speaking his next words. "Sir, what if there was another nation we could ally with?"

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

"Another nation… I met one yesterday. She was a very kind person that came out of the Eastern Woods and-"

"If she came out of the Eastern Woods, she'll probably die there. You know the stories of how harsh it is on the other side of that forest. We cannot ally with a nation that is no doubt in much worse shape than we are. It would be best to forget her."

"But if she can survive in such a place, doesn't that make her a strong nation?"

"Toris Lorinaitis, by suggesting an alliance with another nation while we are already forming one with our neighbor to north is like insulting our new friend. I will not discuss this any further. Now go to your room."

"Yes, sir." A bitter taste rose into Toris's mouth. Normally he was not the kind to disagree, but that girl's face kept popping up in his mind. Surely there must have been a reason for meeting her.

When he arrived at his room, Feliks was already in bed. Lying down on the ground, he let out a frustrated sigh.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Excuse me?"

"You sound pissed off. Did you get punished or something?"

"Not now, Feliks."

"Look, we're going to be sending a lot of time together from now on due to this alliance. Might as well just say whatever is on our minds."

"I'm tired, Feliks. I want to go to sleep. Please respect that desire."

Feliks sighed. "Whatever."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It was a month of preparations. Decorations were being crafted by hand, young people were making the traditional gifts for friends and sweethearts, and the manor was full of bustling servants and in coming visitors. All of the commotion made it difficult for Toris to make his ventures to the forest. A less than enthused Feliks would sometimes accompany him. This actually turned out to be useful once. The ever annoying Prussia tried to ambush them as they were walking down a narrow road. While he was distracted by Feliks running his mouth, Toris was able to slip behind the albino and pounce on him. After the Polish nation joined in the assault, their aggressor made a hast retreat.

Today was the day of the ball and Feliks decided to stay behind and wait the arrival of his boss. Toris was beginning to build a tolerance to the nation's unique personality and managed to find his company not entirely exhausting, but he still preferred taking his journeys alone. The long walks had made him used to the thick snow and allowed him to appreciate the winter landscapes. Even though the mysterious girl had yet to reappear, Toris did not regret the days he came to the forest's edge. Lately he found himself forgetting that they were a place shrouded in dangerous stories and wary rumors. Instead it was turning into a place of peace.

"I suppose she won't be coming today as well…" Toris turned around and began retracing his steps back home then he heard the soft sounds of crunching snow followed by a breathless voice.

"E-e-excuse me!"

A warm hopeful feeling rose in his chest as he turned around to see the girl. "It's you…" When he saw her he was shocked by the worn down look on her face. Dark marks under her eyes and a slow healing bruise on her cheek made him feel sorry for the hardships she must be enduring on the other side of the thick forest. "What happened to you? You look terrible. Not that you really look terrible, it's just-"

Without warning the girl had tightly wrapped her arms around him. At first Toris didn't know what to do. His body stiffened up and his heart began to race in surprise, but as he listened to her shaky sobs, he began to loosen up and place his arms around her reassuringly.

"It's too much…" she said in a hushed voice. Her body was shaking in his arms. "I can't take it anymore… I just want to run away…"

He stroked the top of her fair hair with a sympathetic pat. "I don't understand."

The girl pushed away from him suddenly, blushing a faint pink. "I'm so sorry. That must have been weird for you. You can forget it all…"

Toris felt a little hurt by the suggestion. He frowned at the thought of forgetting someone's moment of need. "It's alright, we are friends right? Friends are supposed to be there when their friend is troubled. You can talk to me about whatever is causing you to feel this way."

The girl lightly rapped her fist on the side of her head and smiled awkwardly. "It's nothing… I was just frustrated and may have gone a little overboard."

It was clear that she was lying to him. Her blue eyes and weak smile could not hide a sad story bubbling beneath her surface. Toris wanted to hear what she had to say. He wanted to help her, take away whatever was troubling her, and see the smile he saw when they first met. "You don't have to lie to me…"

"I'm not lying." With both index fingers, she pulled the corners of her mouth into a wider smile. "See, I'm much better now."

Toris crossed his arms and pouted. "You know, you're not very good at hiding your feelings." Shaking his head, he let out a sigh. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but a fake smile like that doesn't suit you…"

As if he had said the magic words to break a spell, tears breached the edges of the girl's eyelids. Once again she wrapped herself around him and let out long sobs while shaking uncontrollably. There was little to find cute about her state. Snot was leaving a trail down the front of his jacket and her crying was making her eyes turn red and puffy. Her wailing came out in incomprehensible sentences as she vented what must have been a long period of pent up emotion. However, despite the lack of outward beauty, there was something about the sheer sincerity of her emotions that touched his heart. He wanted to protect the delicate heart that he could feel beating beside his own. After crying her fill, the girl pulled away again. This time letting her tiredness show through.

"Feeling better?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded her head and wiped her face with the sleeve of her coat. "Thank you."

"Anytime you need it, feel free to find me." He ruffled up her hair affectionately. "You should consider joining me and my new friend. We're about to make an alliance and become so strong that other nations will think twice before messing with us. I'm sure he'll like you. The three of us can look after each other."

Her smile gave him hope of a favorable answer, but then she said, "I wish I could. Friends seem like such a wonderful thing, but I cannot be friends with you two. Not with the way things are now."

"Why not?"

She shook her head, but offered no answer.

"Okay…" He suddenly remembered the gift he had inside his jacket. Originally he had made the scarf as a gift for Feliks in accordance to holiday tradition, but he doubted that the foreign nation would care for such a small token. He fumbled with the buttons, but managed to pull out the pink accessory. Feliks seemed to have an unusual fascination with the feminine color, but Toris was certain it would look better on the girl in front of him. "Umm… If it's not too much trouble, I would like you to have this."

The girl's eyes widen. "I can't accept this. I have nothing I can give you in return. You have been to good to me, a stranger."

He could feel his cheeks burning. "It's nothing really." Scratching the back of his neck, he tried to avoid eye contact. "I originally made it for my other friend because he likes pink of all colors, but I doubt he would like a hand made gift like this. Besides, I think it would look better on you... So please keep it."

She accepted the scarf with a smile so soft the wanted to hold it in his hand. Her eyes glittered as she held it close. "Thank you."

"This scarf is special," he explained. "As long as you a wearing that scarf, I'll know that it is you and help you no matter what. It'll be a promise that we will become good friends."

Her smile grew until she was absolutely beaming. Just seeing that warm gentle face made him want to get closer. He decided to use the scarf as his excuse.

"Let me help you put it on." As he wrapped the warm scarf around her neck, he saw another wave of pink cover the lovely face in front of him. He made it an effort to memorize how she looked in that moment. Her coat was still missing the third button from the top. Fair blonde hair was coupled with blue eyes that seemed to change color when the scarf was tied around her neck. "There! It looks beautiful on you. Your eyes almost look violet with it on."

There was an uneasy pause.

"I have to go..." She hugged him tightly. "I hope that some day you and I can be good friends."

When she took off running, Toris felt his heart drop. "Wait!" he called after her. "I don't even know your name!"

It was no use. The girl never even looked back. Toris kicked himself for being so forward. He thought he may have scared her off by putting the scarf on for her. "You didn't even get a chance to invite her to the ball… The ball!"

The sun was getting low and it would be nearly dark when he arrived back home. Without a doubt he would be scolded by the serving staff and his boss in turn if he was late for the party. Running as in burst as his best his energy would allow, he found himself sneaking in the back door through the kitchen just as the sun had set.

"Toris Lorinaitis!" a shrill voice called as he attempted to make it to his bedroom.

"Whoops."

"Whoops? Whoops? Do you know what time it is?" A gang of female servants were approaching with fire in their eyes. "If we don't have you out on that dance floor in one hour fully dressed and presentable, our heads will be on pikes feeding the crows."

"Hehe, I'm sorry?" he offered up hopelessly.

"Come with us this instant." Several of the women grabbed hold of him as they started in the opposite direction of his room. "We don't have any time to waste. We'll have to work with devils' speed."

"But my room is the other way…"

"We all know that." The servant that appeared to be in charge rolled her eyes. "Master Feliks is getting ready in there. It would be rude if we interrupted his preparations, we will be taking you to an empty room. The bath is already drawn, and don't blame me if the water is cold."

The water was cold. As soon as he was half tossed into the tub, the air left his lungs in a sharp gasp. There was no chance to comment because within second he was assaulted by women scrubbing every inch of him clean. Next was a quick attack with towels drying him while one lady laid out his clothes. They looked far more formal than average. Next to the garments he noticed a gold mask.

"Is it a masquerade?"

"A charming idea isn't it?" The lead servant said while the others began pulling a velvet tunic over his head. "We thought that we would find an outfit that would compliment Łukasiewicz's.

He truly is a bold lad. I am absolutely certain that you two will have all eyes on you."

Toris could feel a bubble of worry well up in him. Feliks was bold, of that he was sure, but just how bold was still to be determined. He just hoped that he would not do something to embarrass himself too badly.

"Finished!" One girl declared as she placed the mask in Toris's hands. "You look the very image of a prince, Toris."

Toris could not argue against the claim. His reflection showed someone perhaps a little older in appearance with mature gold an emerald clothes. Every inch of fabric was decorated with contrast embroidery or small beads. A crown bearing small green gems sat snuggly on his head. At his side was a decorative hilt and a ceremonial sword used only for show and never combat. He could hardly believe that the person staring back from the looking glass was him.

"Well, stop admiring yourself. We need to get you to the party before they notice you are absent."

Once again Toris was whisked away by the group of jabbering women. They pushed and shoved until he found himself in a full decorated hall with a number of guests already dancing while music filled the air. From where he stood, he could see his boss overseeing the party from his seat at the head of the hall. Beside him sat his fiancé. He expected to find his new ally sitting beside the young woman, but could not spot him anywhere.

"It's about time you showed up," a familiar voice said from behind him.

"I was held up by a-" Toris dropped the sentence as soon as he saw Feliks's clothing. "What on earth are you wearing?"

Nothing could have prepared him to see the Polish nation wearing a fine pink silk dress with gold overlays and white ruffles. From the looks of it, the nation was also wearing a corset. If Toris did not know any better, he would have thought the person in front of him was a girl.

"A dress," he responded shamelessly. "Isn't it obvious?"

"I know it's a dress. Why are you wearing it?"

"It looks good on me." Feliks twirled around to show off the ribbons that tied at the dress's back. "Don't you think I look pretty?"

Toris could not deny that Feliks would make a convincing girl, but he couldn't help thinking of someone else that he would rather see in such a fine dress. He shook his head to erase the thought. "Whether you look pretty or not isn't the point. You're a boy."

"And this is a costume party." He rolled his eyes before pointing out another man wearing women's. The man was much less aesthetically pleasing. "At least I look better than him."

"But still…" Toris felt his gaze wander up and down Feliks's figure. "You are a boy, right?"

"Oh shut up and dance with me." Before he could complain other wise, Feliks was dragging him onto the dance floor with a grip that indeed belonged to a male. "And if you step on my feet I'll kick you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

As Toris walked up the cellar stairs, he could hear a soft spoken conversation taking place in the office overhead. There was a female voice that must have belonged to one of Ivan's sisters. He could not tell what they were talking about, but he knew it probably was none of his business. Closing the door to the stairwell, he did not expect a sudden collision with the visiting country.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he said out of courtesy.

"It's my fault," the large busted woman replied. "I was not looking where I was going. I'm such a klutz."

For a moment their eyes met and Toris remembered a time when he would have looked for recognition in those blue eyes. When he first met Ukraine, he almost hoped that she was the girl from his childhood. However, she showed no signs of remembering him. She also lacked that pure smile the girl possessed. Ukraine's smiles were usually timid and sometimes looked guilty. Toris gave up on hoping.

"Will you be staying with us this evening?"

"No," the woman squeaked. "No, I will be leaving shortly."

"Then please have a safe trip home."

"Yes, thank you."

Xx

"Ow… ow!" Toris took note of another new fact about Feliks Łukasiewicz. He was not a talented dancer. "OW!"

"Oh, shut up! I'm not hurting you that bad."

"Tell that to my feet. I think you may have broken something."

Feliks pinked much to Toris's surprise. He did not think the boy could blush or feel embarrassed for that matter. Even more surprising was that he did not argue back. Probably a good thing since the music quickly died down.

"My hope is that all of our guests are enjoying themselves to the fullest." Toris stare up to his boss who was standing beside his charming fiancé. "As many of you know, it is customary for gifts to be exchanged between friends, family, and loved ones. Allow me to be the first to present my dear fiancé with the first gift of the night."

"Hey, Toris."

"Feliks, we should be watching."

"Right, another rich guy in charge gives an expensive gift to his politically arranged fiancé. Like we haven't seen that before. Turn around and look at me."

"What is it?" Toris turned around with his annoyance reaching boiling point. "What do you want?"

"You're gift…" Feliks was holding out a pair of black leather gloves. "Your stable master told me the chestnut mare was yours. I figured you could use a pair of riding gloves."

Toris could hear the crowd around him cheer at the sight of his boss's gift, but he could only stare at the gloves being presented to him. He felt like a jerk. His gift that he was going to exchange was wrapped around another person's neck and he gave it away without a second thought.

"Well, don't just stare at them." Feliks took his hand and put the gloves in his palm. "Try them on."

Doing as he was instructed, Toris slipped one hand in the matching glove. It fit perfectly. He could feel the material tighten just right as he clenched his fingers then release. "They're superb…"

"Of course they are. My gifts are always the best."

Swallowing hard, Toris grasped for straws in his head what he could give in return to his new ally. Then it hit him like a sack of bricks. Grabbing the blond boy's hand he began running toward the door. "Come with me."

"What? Where are we going?"

"Just follow me." Toris led the way out to the empty courtyard. Anyone of importance was inside at the party and everyone else was in their homes celebrating with family. Just as he was hoping, the front gate was left open for the use of any late arriving or early to depart guests. "Wait right here."

"You're joking, right? It's freezing out here."

"Trust me."

"…"

Taking his silence as approval, Toris ran for the stable. The stable master was sleeping in his chair with a small oil lamp still lit. Standing at attention, his young mare was awake as if waiting for him to come for her. He put on her saddle blanket and saddle without much trouble, but hit a snag with the reins. "Come on, girl. I need your help. I really screwed up and you can be what makes up for my stupidity."

The mare bowed her head and took up the bit.

"Thank you. I promise to bring you a treat in the morning."

Holding the reins in one hand, Toris led the mare out of the stables without waking the master. Her hooves made soft clopping noises on the flagstone when they entered the west side of the courtyard. Feliks was sitting on the front steps waiting just as he had asked.

"Would you like to accompany me on a ride, my lady fair," Toris jested as he came near.

"You mean to go riding now? Night has already fallen. Are you crazy?" Despite his words, Feliks could not hide the look of excitement burning behind his eyes.

"The moon is out tonight and no clouds in sight. There will be plenty of light for riding."

Feliks eyed the mare cautiously. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Of course I'm sure." Toris held out his hand. "Come on, I'll help you up."

Helping Feliks up was a bit tricky due to the dress's extra fabric. After some awkward lifting and pushing they managed to get the Polish boy sitting side saddle on top of the horse. Toris climbed up with one foot in the stirrups and swinging his other leg over the saddle.

"Now what?"

"Hold on and enjoy the ride."

With a slight squeeze of the knees, the mare began walking forward. Feliks lurched forward not expecting the bumpy gate of the horse. A small kick of the heels spurred the horse to canter making the ride smoother. Once on the dirt road, Toris let the mare show off its full gallop. Her long legs allowed her to sail down the dirt path.

"Faster, faster!" An enthralled Poland cried. Toris gave another kick of his heels and they were flying. Cold wind bit at their noses, but laughter kept made them oblivious to the low temperatures. At last he found something the two nations had in common. They loved to ride.

All around them was a wintery landscape smeared white and grey as they sped by. Winds rustled both of their hair and stung their eyes. Heavy streams of mist followed them as their war breath blended with frosty air. Time seemed to disappear as they continued without desire of ever stopping. They rode along the long winding road until they finally reached a place where snow made it difficult to pass.

"Do you want to try leading?" Toris asked as he tugged the reins instructing the mare to turn around.

"Could I?" He couldn't see Feliks's face, but he could hear a happy note in his voice.

"Here, take the reins in both hands. Whichever way you pull them, the horse will follow. I'll have her start off nice and easy."

Once more they lurched forward s the mare began moving. It was late in the night when they finally returned home at a slow trout. Both of them were shivering from being out while wearing inappropriate clothing. Feliks's teeth were chattering and Toris was losing feeling in his hands. Luckily the front gate was left open for the night. Torch fire suggested that there were still some people enjoying the festivities inside. Toris dismounted first and helped Poland do the likewise.

"You were right, Feliks. I really did need a good pair of riding gloves."

"Wasn't I…"

Toris looked his partner up and down a couple more times. In the dim light the moon offered, he looked even more like a girl. Shaking like a leaf from the cold made him think of another girl he saw shaking. _The eyes are the wrong color and the hair is too long… Stop thinking about her. This is Feliks in front of you. He is your ally._

"Umm, Toris…"

_See, the voice is completely different as well._

"Yes, Feliks?"

_Feliks is a boy's name. Who would name a girl Feliks after all?_

"Thank you…"

"For wha-"

… _what? Is he really? Oh, God…_

Toris did not know what to do. Without warning, Feliks kissed him. He completely froze in disbelief. _This has to be a joke! The whole thing has got to be a joke. He is doing this to make a fool of me I know it… But with his eyes closed… If I just pretended he was her… It would be okay, right? After all, this is really is just a joke._

When Toris did not push him away, Feliks was the one to put an end to the kiss. His face was a bright shade of red that seemed to glow in the dark. Toris touched his own lips with his gloved fingers, tracing the warmth that lingered there.

"Anyway," the blond started. "Th-thank you for the good time. Now I should go attend to my lady. It's been over a month since I last saw her, so I'm sure there is going to be much to discuss. Good night, Toris. I will be staying with my lady tonight. I suppose I will see you in the morning. Goodbye."

And with a curtsey, the boy ran up the stairs and back into the warm building. Toris looked to his mare for consultation. "I'm a terrible person aren't I?"

Dark brown eyes looked back him in silent judgment.

"What should I have done?" he asked frustrated. "He was dressed that way and acting so, so, so out of character. What was I supposed to do? I mean he was messing with me, right?"

The horse snorted at him.

"So maybe it was wrong of me to imagine he was a girl. You can't blame me… Oh, how are we ever going to be proper allies now? Why did he kiss me? I don't get other nations. One tries to beat me to a pulp every chance he gets. Another shows up out of nowhere and vanishes just as suddenly. Then we have this one who gets some strange kick out of toying with me."

As if to reassure him, the mare nuzzled his shoulder. He returned her kindness with by stroking her affectionately. "I guess I can't rely on you to give me all the answers. Thank you for your help anyway."

After returning the chestnut to her stall and brushing her down, Toris climbed his way up to his room undisturbed. Feliks must have meant what he said about staying with his boss because the room was empty without signs of anyone entering. Throwing his clothes on the ground, he stripped down to his under garments before crawling into bed. It was the first time in a month that he lay on the once familiar mattress.

"Good night," he said to the girl in the woods.

"Good night," he said to the boy in the dress.

"Good night," he said to mare resting in her stable.

And then he slept.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Lithuania!" Toris never used to flinch at his nation's name before, but the deep commanding voice would send involuntary tremors through his body. "Lithuania, come here now!"

"He couldn't have known I went to the cellar… Could he?" His heart was rang like a machine gun in his head. Quickly half-running down hallways, Toris made his way to the small study where he was being summoned. Resting his hand on the door knob, he whispered, "If there is a god, please be with me."

The study door squeaked open. Trembling when hit by the intimidating presence of the large man sitting at his paper cluttered desk, Toris announced himself timidly. His voice quivered like a leaf in an early winter wind. "May I help you?"

"Vodka," was all the man said, but he understood the request. By the tone of his voice, Toris knew that he was in a dangerous mood. He took his leave right away and headed straight for the kitchen. All the while he could not help but wonder how his scarf had found its way around the neck of Ivan Braginski.

Xx

Soft dawn's light filtered in through the tall windows of the room like rosy pink fingers. When his blue eyes opened, Toris found himself lying on the floor in a tangled mass of blankets and pillows. A month on the floor made his bed seem so foreign to him. Blinking away a small collection of sleep, he untangled himself and set to ready himself for the day. It wasn't until he had one leg half way pulled into his trousers that last night's memories formed at the front of his mind.

"Oh, god…" Toris stumbled over to a water basin stationed next to his mirror. _Feliks kissed me… And I LET him kiss me… _

With water dripping off his chin and soaked hair, he stared at himself in the reflective surface of the glass. He did not look any different than usual. Nothing physical changed after the kiss to the best of his knowledge. Toris half expected him to have "I kiss men" spelled out in freckles on his forehead. The very thought was troubling to say the least and made his brow furrow with grief. _How am I going to go down to breakfast?_

It took a couple more dunks in the basin and several deep cleansing breaths before he decided that if he could not see a trace of the kiss that no one else would either. He assumed that since it was all a grand joke that back fired Feliks would not go blabbing to anyone. There was nothing to fear. Fully dressed and swallowing down his anxiety, Toris strode into the dining hall as cooly as possible. Taking his seat beside Feliks, he pretended to ignore him and examined a roll that was presented among other kin on a serving tray.

"Well look at that," his boss suddenly exclaimed making him just about jump out of his skin. "Our little Toris must have gotten kissed!"

"What?" His eyes must have grown to the size of saucers. "Who told you?"

"No one needs to tell me. I can see a look of maturity in your yes that wasn't there before." He smiled while slathering butter onto a large roll. "Who was the luck girl?"

"No one… It wasn't anyone." Toris glanced to his right to see how Feliks was reacting to the conversation, but the flaxen haired nation seemed to be eating his breakfast undisturbed.

The man at the head of the table must have noticed his glance and immediately questioned the boy. "Surely you know, Feliks. Did you see who Toris might have run off with on his own?"

Feliks opened his mouth to answer, but Toris interrupted by standing up and knocking his chair backwards. "It isn't important."

"Would you look at that blush." Toris's cheeks indeed felt like they would melt off from the extreme heat of his face. "She must have been a beauty. Come now, Feliks. Do you know who this mystery girl is?"

"Perhaps you should let him alone," a female voice cut in. "If he reddens any darker, I suspect that he will faint."

"My dear Lady."

Relief washed over him as the others turned their attention to the entering bride to be. He picked up his chair and sat down. Doing his best to blend into the background, he did not notice Feliks staring at him.

"Besides," the woman continued, "my dear Feliks had an eventful night as well."

Toris turned to look at the blond for any sign of a tell. Feliks however maintained a calm composure. He simply looked up with a bored expression. "Yeah, I guess you could say so."

"Ah, so maybe you two were working together then? Well isn't that just the keen. This alliance must be fate. You two boys should take it easy on the young ladies. Don't break too many hearts."

The soon to be Lady of the house sat across from the two nations and took each of them by the hand. She smiled warmly at Toris and gave his hand a slight squeeze. "I'm sure you and Feliks will become the best of friends. Won't you, Toris?"

_She knows…_

"Of course," he said in a surprisingly placid voice.

"Please excuse me," Feliks suddenly announced with the sound of his fork clattering on the table. "Toris, would you please join me for a moment."

Toris looked to his boss for permission.

"You two go ahead. Don't get yourselves into too much trouble."

The two of them left the room at a leisurely pace, but once the doors closed behind them Feliks grabbed Toris's wrist and began dragging him down the hall. He did not let go as they entered the brightly lit courtyard or when they strolled through the front gate. When they were a fair distance down the road, Feliks pulled him behind a thick grouping of trees. His green eyes stared at him with a look that Toris could not recognize.

"Last night," he started. "when we… kissed." Toris must have made a face because something shifted in those fields of clover. "Don't think anything of it."

"What?"

"I said don't think anything about it." Feliks finally released his iron hold on Toris's wrist. "It wasn't something I wanted to do… This whole union between our nations has been playing funny games with my head. I didn't even know what I was doing until it was too late. We should just agree to pretend it never happened."

A weight lifted from his shoulders. Toris could feel a smile slowly stretching the corners of his mouth. "I agree. When you… did that, I just assumed it was a joke. I mean, you did dress up as girl. It was all a big joke, right?"

"…yes."

"I must say that you were very convincing though. For a moment when we were… so close, I could not help but think you were a girl."

"Is that why you kissed me back?"

Toris flinched at the use of the k-word. "You could say so. You reminded me of this girl I met with earlier yesterday and so I guess I was thinking of her while we… kissed."

Feliks took a step backwards and eyed him from head to toe. "You were thinking of someone else? A girl? Who is she?"

"She the reason I always go on those long walks." Toris explained. "I think you would like her. She has these eyes like the sky in spring. It's easy to tell when she's trying to hide her feelings, but when she is completely honest you can't help but feel her cause. When she genuinely smiles. It haunts your waking hours and brightens up your dreams."

"Sounds like you really fancy her…"

"Eh! Um, not it's not that. I just- just admire her ability to be such a pure existence while living in the harsh environment of the Winter Lands. That's all."

"Hnnn." Feliks looked at him even more intently. He approached until there was only a couple inches between them. There eyes were locked for a length of time that made Toris feel uneasy. "I take it back."

"Take what back."

"What I said, I'm taking it back." The fair haired boy smirked. "From what I can tell, you don't get to see this girl very often. Especially if rumors about the East are true. I do not like sharing, Toris. I'll make sure you stop thinking about her."

"Umm, that sounds a little strange."

"Just remember one thing," Feliks said while walking back towards the road. "Our nations are the ones that are united. Whomever this girl maybe, there is no allegiance between you two."

"…" Something in the pit of his stomach made Toris worry. His new partner was going to make life very interesting. Of that he was certain.

Xx

Toris held the glass bottle in his hand and inspected the seal. If Ivan was in one of his moods, then he would no doubt want more. The bottle was long and one of the larger among all the others. It would hopefully tide the man over until he fell asleep. Then again, one bottle never did.

"Mr. Barginski," he greeted when he returned to the study. By this time, Ivan had moved from his seat at the desk and was standing in front of the large window. His broad back was turned to him, but maintained the threatening aura that seemed to engulf the man. " I brought what you asked for."

"Leave it on the desk. You may leave now."

Doing as he was told, Toris set the bottle on a clear corner of the desk. Though he would have left something anchored him to the spot. Perhaps it was the faded scarf that lay limp around Ivan's shoulders. He recognized his own craftsmanship in the rows of the once pink scarf. It was a promise he had given to someone he wanted to protect. "Sir… May I ask if you are alright?"

"I said, you may leave."

"Yes, sir."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

With the marriage of both their bosses, the union between Poland and Lithuania was secured. To Toris's dismay, this meant frequent trips away from the Eastern Border to visit the Polish nation's home. As years marched on and the two nations became better friends, Feliks almost succeeded in pushing the girl out of Toris's mind. He soon thought of his regular walks along the woods as routine. There was no longer any expectation of meeting anyone or any desire for such an event to occur. On occasion Feliks would join him such as this day. The two were playing a game of hide and seek. At the moment, Feliks was the seeker and Toris the hider.

Toris walked as quietly as he could through the snow that had blanketed the world over night. The faint crunching noise underfoot kept him hyper aware of his own movements. Weaving between trees he heard another set of crunching footsteps. Instinctively, Toris found himself ducking behind a tree trunk with his heart pounding. When the crunching drew closer, a figure carrying an antique rifle on their back appeared from amongst a copse with all the confidence of a seasoned tracker. He decided it would be best to reveal his self to the lone hunter before he was mistaken for game. Taking one wide step he exposed his location to the stranger.

The stranger quickly turned toward him with one arm reaching back for the gun.

"Wait!" Toris called to stop them from firing at him. The person froze instantly at the sound of his voice. With both of them locked in a silent stare; Toris felt an unsettling sense of déjà vu. There was something about the blonde boyish figure that tickled the back of his head. Perhaps he knew this person. "Where did you come from?"

The person pointed toward the east, the direction that they had come from, but did not say a word.

"Eh? Isn't that place always in the middle of winter?" By now Toris suspected the rumors of the Eastern Lands were all false except for the ones about the freezing climate. Still something was stirring in his head that seemed vaguely familiar. "Isn't it hard to live there?"

The stranger shrugged their shoulders. That is when Toris noticed the pale pink scarf wrapped around their neck.

"That scarf…" _Short blond hair. Missing third button from the top. Pink scarf that makes her eyes look- _"It makes your eyes look violet."

Recollection struck like lightning. It had to be the girl he met so long ago. This person was wearing the same old coat and the pink scarf that he made himself. The fair boyish hair-cut with those eyes were unmistakable. Toris's heart began to beat loudly as he finally met up with the girl once more.

"… strong?"

"Excuse me?"He shook his head to focus on what was being said. The girls voice was so faint he barely caught the end of her question. Leaning forward with his hand cupped against his ear, he asked for her to repeat. "I couldn't hear you."

"Are you strong?" she said a little louder, but still her words were a voiceless whisper.

"Not really…" Toris knew that while he was indeed in a much better position than he was when they first met, it was only because of the alliance he had formed with Feliks. "On my own I can't do much, but I have a friend now. We help each other."

The girl's face seemed to pale a little. Her breath came out in small wispy trails of mist. She stared at him with a curious expression. Toris felt there was something amiss. Something hard to pace was different about the girl that stood in front of him now. It was almost as if the air around her was colder than it should be. _Life in the East must be more difficult than I thought._

"You should become out friend too." Partially fueled by pity, Toris finally stated the words he wanted to say. "That way we can work together and make life easier for all of us."

She grabbed the riffle strap that was secured over her shoulder. "Where are you from?"

Hope bubbled up in his chest. It was not the immediate rejection he received like encounters past. "I am Lithuania." The boy reached out his hand to offer a handshake. "You can call me Toris though because we are going to become friends."

"I will not be your friend," the girl replied with a peculiar smile. The bubble once again burst. "Not now."

"Why not?" Toris was wounded. It was the third time he was denied. The question slipped out of his lips even though she never answered it in the past. He wanted to know what it was about him that she did not like.

"Because I am not strong enough. One day I will become a large, strong nation. Then I think we can become friends."

Eyes wide in surprise, Toris tried to register the words she had just spoken. "_The reason we can't be friends is because you aren't strong enough? Nonsense! To live on your own in such a place without friends makes you more than strong enough. If anything, I'm the one that isn't strong enough,"_ is what he wanted to say, but the words would not come out.

"I must go now." And once again she took off running.

"Wait!" _I won't let you disappear just like that. Not this time._ Toris tried to pursue. Deep patches of snow made running difficult. As the girl continued her flight- seemingly unaffected by the white flood- she became harder to spot among the trees. Within the blink of an eye, she had vanished completely. He stopped and strained his ears in case he could locate the direction she may have been headed, but he caught a different, unexpected sound.

"God, damn it, Toris! I said wait up!"

"Feliks?" Turning around, he saw his Polish friend trudging toward him having an equally difficult time navigating the terrain. "What are you doing?"

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing? You and some other person ran right by me without noticing. Who were they anyway? What happened to our game?"

"Feliks, you won't believe it," he started as he stumbled back toward his friend. "It was her! It was the girl from the East."

Feliks stopped where he was. "The girl… The one you used to never stop blabbering about? She's real?"

"Of course she's real, you just saw her."

"It was only for a moment." Feliks seemed to be thinking something deep behind those clover eyes, but his expression was light and his manner normal. "Ha, and here I thought you just made her up all those years ago. A real girl. Gee, who would have thought?"

"But she ran away again…"

"Man, you need to know when to let up." Feliks slapped him on the shoulder. "If she keeps running away from you, it means she's not interested in you. Let her go."

"But she looked so lonely and she said-"

"Listen to me, Toris." Feliks's voice became almost gravely serious. "You shouldn't mix with her lot. If she runs away, let her run. You don't even really know her. For all we know, she could be a threat. That was a rifle strapped to her back, wasn't it? What would happen if she had shot you? Where would your nation be then? Our union would be at risk. That girl is a war waiting to happen. Leave her alone."

Toris could not reply to dark look on his friends face. The usually care-free Poland was putting his foot down. It was clear from the intensity in his last three words that he would leave no room for further discussion. All he could do was match the cold stare with silent disappointment.

"Let's head home, Toris. It will be late if we don't head back now."

"You're right."

Xx

"Vodka!"

The deep voice seemed to resonate off every wall of the house. Three sets of feet scampered about locating the nearest stash of alcohol in the proximity. Each nation arrived at the study door at the same time almost running into one another. Anxiety gnawing at their innards, they presented the bottle of clear fluid to the irritated man.

Latvia was the first to speak. "Maybe you should rest for the day. I mean, drinking will only make your mood wor-"

Toris covered Ravis's mouth with his hand before he could make the situation any more dangerous. "What he means, sir, is that it is getting rather late."

"Deal with the boy, Toris." Ivan took the largest bottle out of Estonia's hand. "And bring me another lamp. I will be working late."

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

Xx

Long years would pass. The girl would never be seen again.

After his childhood melted away and young adulthood was secured that the pink scarf would once again catch his eye. It was an early spring day, when Toris returned from a long ride. The two friends had been staying at Feliks's home through the winter, and Toris enjoyed taking in the now familiar scenery of bustling towns that started as small villages. Two male servants ran to meet him as he approached the stable.

"Mr. Lorinaitis, please come quickly."

"What is it?" He asked while dismounting. "Is something wrong?"

"Well…" One servant trailed off.

"There is a visitor… He says he is from the East and well he's…"

"Down right terrifying!" the first servant finished.

"Right now, Mr. Łukasiewicz is talking with him in his study. They've been talking for a very long time. And we were-"

"Worried that this stranger is up to no good and that Mr. Łukasiewicz would need you as back up."

Toris handed one of them the reigns to the grey horse he had been riding. "I will change first, and then meet with them. It would be rude to show up smelling like horses."

"This is not a matter be concerned about politeness!" the more excitable of the servants chimed. "That man could be eating poor Mr. Łukasiewicz as we speak!"

"What he means, is that we have prepared a change of clothes and will attend to you immediately."

"Attend to you immediately" apparently meant "One of us will strip you down and dress you up as the other pushes you in the right direction." Bewildered as to how the two servants managed the feat, Toris found himself outside of Feliks's personal study. By the way that the two men coward behind him, Toris would have suspected to hear his friends fending off a savage beast. Instead he only heard the soft tones of conversation.

He knocked gently on the study door. "Feliks, it is Toris. May I come in?"

"Enter!"

When he opened the door, he had to do his best to fight off a cold shiver. A sudden chill seemed to emanate from within the room. The door closed behind him sealing in the sharp cool air.

"Please join us, Toris." Feliks said while motioning for him to approach the desk. Whoever their guest was did not turn to face him. As he approached, he immediately noticed the impressive stature of the foreigner. He was head and shoulders above both of them and his size seemed exaggerated by the heavy winter coat he was wearing. "Mr. Braginski, this is my partner, Toris Lorinaitis. Toris, this is Mr. Ivan Braginski. He has come to us with a complaint."

Toris looked up at the man and felt an abrupt feeling of shock. The man had light violet eyes and wore a faint shade of pink scarf. After a moment's recovery- and reassuring his self that it must be a coincidence- Toris extended his hand in greeting. "Good day, Mr. Braginski."

Ivan stared at his hand before completely enveloping it with his own. His grasp was firm and his stare held a strange sense of knowing. "We have met before, da?"

"I beg your pardon?"

The man smiled and released his hand. "It would seem you do not remember. Perhaps I am mistaken."

"Quite," Feliks cut in. "We've never had the _pleasure_ of making you're acquaintance."

From the sour tone in his friend's voice it was evident that the two men were not seeing eye to eye. Preferring to avoid conflict, Toris started with a friendly smile. "Mr. Braginski, you are here about a complaint. May I ask what it is?"

"He wants us to give up are holds on Belarus and Ukraine," Feliks answered.

"My sisters," Ivan stated with an innocent smile. "I visited them recently and I am not satisfied with how their states are being maintained. I would like them to return home with me."

The child like smile stirred up a strange feeling in Toris's gut. It was just a smile, but it seemed like there was something more significant behind it. "You want us to give you our territories in both of your sister's countries?"

"Da."

"It's impossible!" Feliks finally exploded. "I've told you that a million and one time already."

"You have told me precisely twenty-four times, Mr. Łukasiewicz."

Feliks's eyes narrowed. Slamming his fists on the desk as he rose from his seat, he leaned forward with a glare. "We will not simply hand over our territories."

"Feliks, please calm down."

"It will be very simple." Ivan met the Polish nation's glare with an unwavering smile. "Either you will let me take my sisters home with me, or I will come and take them back."

"Your full of it." Feliks stood up as tall as he could, something he often did when he felt threatened. "I've given you our answer. Now you would do best to leave before I have you escorted out."

Toris doubted that the large man could be easily led out of their home. However, Mr. Braginski did not put up any fight.

"Very well then Mr. Łukasiewicz. If that is your answer, I will have to accept that." He turned his light violet eyes on to Toris and nodded his head slightly. "Until we meet again."

And then he left without another word. The cold air seemed to follow him out the door. With his presence gone, Toris could feel his muscles had tensed without his knowing loosen. "Feliks, who was that?"

"Some unknown guy from the East," he replied while twisting a lock of gold hair. "Ivan Braginski of the Empire of Russia, or something along those lines."

"He seemed rather intent on getting his sisters back…"

"Like I said, he is a nobody from the East. I'm not going to worry about him unless he is Genghis Kahn in the flesh."

"Still, he did threaten to take them back. Do you think he'll really use force?"

"Toris, we have been united for how long? Have some faith. If he wants to come and attack us, let him try. Who knows, if he has any land worth taking, we'll make him one of our territories too."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Feliks…"

"Shut up."

"Feliks."

"Shut up!"

"But Feliks-"

"I said shut up!"

The two nations sat side by side leaning against a wall. They were both worse for wear, covered in bruises and cuts. Feliks even had a broken leg. Toris felt pain all over, but nothing hurt more than knowing they might have avoided this. Right now- as the two of them were sitting idle- three nations were discussing how they would divide their spoils, Feliks and his home. It all started soon after Ivan Braginski paid them a visit. Unrest exploded in Poland temporarily making the commonwealth vulnerable. That was when the attacks happened. Russia came from the East while Prussia and Austria lead their own assaults from the West.

"But Feliks… what do you think will happen to us?"

"Damn it, Toris!" The Polish nation's voice was shrill and shaking. "I don't want to think about tomorrow. I don't even want to think about what's going on behind that door. We lost Toris. We lost big time."

Toris watched his friend from the corner of his eye. The blond young man was shaking slightly and wringing his hands so tightly that he might be breaking the swollen knuckles. He was anxious too, but was too tired to bother with nervous tics. Without warning, the door opened making both nations jump a little.

Austria was the first to exist. The young man had an intense atmosphere about him and carried himself with all the poise of a prince. If Toris had to choose a captor, he hoped it would be him. He held his breath and lowered his gaze as the man shot a critical look in their direction, but after only a brief moment of scrutiny he turned away and strolled down the hall out of sight.

"Kesese!" An all too familiar laugh made Toris shudder. "You're a sick bastard, aren't you Russia?"

The two conquerors walked out of their meeting room. Prussia was wiping tears from his eyes from laughing. Russia was smiling, but did not seem enthused. Toris began to wonder if the large nation ever stopped smiling. Even when he caught a glimpse of him on the battlefield, the man had a faint smile as he plunged further into the fray.

"Oy, Polish brat," Prussia smirked with a wolf like gleam in his eyes, "You're coming with me."

"Tcht!" Poland clicked his tongue. They both knew what kind of bully the albino was. Toris felt sympathy rise up in his chest. "Whatever, red eyed freak."

Prussia was not amused by the blonde's remark. He kicked the broken leg that was held out straight in front of him. "I'd get moving if I were you."

Toris watched in dismay as his friend was being led down the hallway, half being dragged. Their eyes met for a fragment of a second, but that was all it took for them to understand each other's good bye. When Feliks was out of sight, a cold chill seized Toris's body. The sudden drop in temperature shook his whole body.

"Then shall we take our leave?"

He looked up at the tower of man in front of him. His smile was inviting, but those violet eyes were guarding any hint of his intentions. Ivan Braginski was a mystery; A man that came out of the East completely unknown. The man fought as if nothing could hurt him and never seemed phased by anything around him. From now on this enigma would have control over Toris's nation.

"What do you want with me?"

The larger nation looked at him with a childish version of puzzlement. "For now I suppose I will have you follow me. I have won and should be able to take my prize home with me, da?"

Toris stood up. "Yes, sir."

From that moment, the Russian said very little. He simply started walking forward and expected Toris to follow unquestioningly. The route that he took seemed rather odd. Rather heading directly east from where the custody meeting had been held, Ivan took them southeast through Toris's homeland. Within a few days journey they were staying the night in a tavern only three miles from where Toris lived with countless generations of rulers. Soon after departing the inn, the two men would be walking along the border of the ever familiar Eastern Woods. Suddenly, the silent man came to a halt.

"When we met not too long ago, I asked if we had met before."

Toris did not know whether to respond or if it was a simple statement. When Ivan did not continue he spoke up. "Yes, when we were standing in Feliks's- I mean- in the office in Poland."

The tall nation nodded his head and looked around. He motioned for Toris to stay put and then took several long strides forward. Looking around one more time, he turned around with a peculiar look on his face. "Da, if my memory serves me this should be the place."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Where you are standing right now," Ivan pointed at Toris with a slightly faltering smile, "is where I met a brown haired boy from Lithuania many years ago."

It took a minute for Toris to understand what the man meant. Then the light pink scarf once again captivated his attention. The surroundings suddenly rang with history. This was where he met the _girl_ from the East. It was here that he last spoke with _her_. An idea began to form in Toris's head.

_What if the girl was never really a girl? Hungary thought she was a boy for a long time… Does that mean that this man was like her? _Toris paled as he began adding up facts. _Could this man really be the girl I met here? That sweet girl was really this… this person in front of me?_

The Russian tilted his head up to the sky as if watching his thoughts form above his head. Then he held out one gloved hand. "Back then you asked me to be your friend, da? I was weak then, but now I am strong. Do you still want to be my friend, Toris Lorinaitis?"

For some reason his heart was screaming its pulse in his head. As if he was severely wounded, blood rushed out of his face. The hand being out stretched was unwavering, but seemed to be shrouded in a terrifying aura. He suddenly began to doubt everything he thought he knew about the girl from his memories. In the past he would never have hesitated to grab her hand in friendship. However, this person was not the one he had hoped for. This was Russia.

"You said… Back then you said that we could not be friends because you were too weak." Toris could barely talk with his throat turned parched. "What about me? Am I too weak to be friends with you?"

"I do not care if you are weak. I became strong to protect others. If you are my friend, I am strong enough to protect both of us."

The words were not enough to completely reassure him. Still, his hand moved on its own accord and grabbed the large palm of the intimidating nation. A cold chill ran across his whole body and he gasped from cold shock. If he did not know better he would have guessed he shook hands with the devil.

"Good," was all that the man said before returning to his selected path and for the first time, Toris would enter the land of snow beyond the Eastern Woods.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Russia was a cold place. The nights felt long and the days wee frostbitten. White covered the ground from one corner of the map to the other. This was Russia in the dead of winter. It was as cold, desolate, and harsh as the rumors had said. That is what Toris thought at first until Ivan Braginski revealed what it was to be from the land of ice.

"There," he said pointing to a thick white patch of snow one day as the two men were walking. "What is it that you see there?"

"There is nothing there," Toris replied, still unsure of how to act around the intimidating nation.

"Look harder. Go on."

Toris squinted his eyes, but the patch of snow yielded no new information. "I'm sorry, but all I see is snow."

"You are right," the larger man said while elbowing Toris in the arm. "All that you see is snow. I would be surprised if you could see anything other than that."

A wrinkle formed on his brow as Toris frowned in confusion. _If he knew that would be the answer, then what was the point in asking such a question? So what if there was snow there? There was snow everywhere._

"All kinds of people could stand right where we are now and not see anything other than snow." Ivan knelt down and began brushing away the layers of white powder. "In a way I pity those people. They look at my land and that is all they will ever see. Snow. However, there will be a few people who will see something different."

After a minute of digging in to the white crust above the dirt, Ivan revealed a small sprout barely making its way toward the surface. He stroked the light green leaves of the plant almost as if petting the head of a small animal. "This plant here… This plant is Russia, Toris. When all everyone else sees is hopelessly cruel nothingness, this plant struggles its whole life disregarding the bleakness of its situation. If winter attacks it every day, every day it will become that much stronger," Ivan pointed to a tall tree several yards away, "until it can stand alone against the bitterness and cold and tower above the earth. This is Russia."

Without realizing it, Toris had begun shaking. There was something unspeakably cold and unmistakably true about the words that were spoken. They were a testament of history as well as an irrevocable threat. This was Russia; Russia who had conquered the winter.

"You must be cold," Ivan said while looking down on the smaller man. "Do not worry we are almost to my home. You will be the first to visit since… my sisters left."

For a second Toris could have sworn he saw the corners of that ever smiling mouth turn south. There was a sad feeling to that false grin. He kept an eye on Ivan as they continued walking forward, but the frown made no reappearance. Instead that smile began to beam when the Russian came to a complete stop.

"Here it is," he announced, "Home. Just the way I left it before the war."

Toris could not help flinching at the words "war" and "home." He gazed upon the structure that lay before them. For the residence of a nation, it was not very impressive; it was a simple wooden two story dwelling. From the looks of it, the widows didn't even have real glass. Compared to the houses that he and Feliks had been living in, this one looked like it might belong to a well off commoner.

"I figured I should build a few extra rooms since I knew I would be bringing home some war prize. You'll have your own room upstairs next to mine." He pointed up to a window. "The view from upstairs is very nice."

"Did you say that you built this house?"

"Da." Ivan's smile became genuine. "In truth it started with me and my big sister, but after the first room was built, the rest were additions made by myself."

"Why?"

"Because one room was lacking, so I stated by building a-"

"No, why did you do it all by yourself?" Toris stared at the giant bewildered. "Why not live with your nation's leader, or have your countrymen build you a home?"

"Hmm…" He looked as if he had never considered the thought. "Well why should I? I suppose I could live with the tsar and tsarina, but I'm not really cut out for living in such a fancy place. As for having a house built, I'd much rather live in the home I made. It is good to learn to depend on yourself, da?"

Toris could feel himself gawking at the man. Ivan Braginski was proving his previous assumptions false. All his life he was told people from the East were cruel, evil beings that died young from a reckless lifestyle, but this man seemed calm and thoughtful. Though the Easterner was fierce in battle, when the fighting ended he made no further attempt to hurt Toris.

"Come," Ivan took Trois's arm in his own and started walking toward the house. "I'll show you inside. It will be getting colder with the sun setting."

Inside the house was Spartan to say the least. It was clear that only one person was living there. There were no personal touches decorating the walls or shelves. Windows were bare without curtains to block out the blindingly white outside world. Yet as Toris followed Ivan up the creaking stairs, he almost felt someone else's presence in the home.

"This room is mine." The tall man pointed to the door closest to the stairs. "Yours is at the end of the hall."

The door handle felt cold in his palm, but Toris pushed it open and found a slightly furnished room on the other side. There were no bars on his window and from what he could tell no lock on his door. This was far from the prison that he was expecting out in the Winter Lands. Then again, the landscape was a natural prison on its own. Could he really escape if he chose to risk the elements?

"Is it not to your liking?"

Toris jumped and let out a small squeak. He had not realized Russia was still standing behind him staring down with inquisitive violet eyes. "No, the room is fine. It's just… Why are you treating me so kindly?"

"Kindly?" Ivan blinked at him with a completely stoic expression. "As far as I am concerned, Lithuania is now part of Russia. It would be wrong of me to treat any part of my country terribly. So as long as you are part of Russia you will be fine, da?"

"Not that I don't appreciate your hospitality, I simply don't follow your logic." Toris felt a question burning on his lips. "If Lithuania really is a part of Russia now, how am I still here? Shouldn't I have been destroyed with my nation?"

"Everything you own is my, da?" There was something terrible behind that childish smile. Right now it threatened to eat Toris whole. "I have taken your lands, I have taken your freedom, and I have taken your people, your status, and your power. I have taken everything from you. Even right now your life is in the palm of my hand. I keep you alive only to take your friendship as well. It was you who offered it in the first place, da? So now we shall be friends."

Toris was dumbstruck by what he had just heard. He could only watch in stupefied silence as the large nation took his leave down the stairs at the end of the hall. This was Russia, an incredibly cold place.

Xx

Toris held his breath as he approached the office door. In one hand he carried a tall glass bottle as a sacrifice to the cruel deity concealing his self in the dark study among scattered papers of unknown purpose. As he drew near, the faint sounds of secret murmurs crawled out from under the door and crawled down the corridor. Fear pulled the tension in Toris's head taunt. Gently he pushed the wood door open barely a crack so that a sliver of lamplight carved into the darkness of the hallway. Peaking through the opening, Toris found a sight that ripped his stomach with woe. Ivan Braginski had laid his beloved scarf on the desk in front of him leaving his neck bare for the first time in Toris's memory, and yet his eyes still glowed an unnatural violet. The girl with the pink scarf was a phantom that vanished completely and left him only with false allegiance.

Xx

Life in Russia was rough, but not unbearable. Toris found that if he kept Ivan's cup filled with vodka and laid low he could avoid any unwanted attention. Still, once the French "liberation" came, he could not say he was relieved. Never in a million years did Toris think he would welcome the sight of so many French soldiers. Napoleon's forces were greeted by his people as saviors. It made the blow that much harsher when the seemingly unstoppable French were torn to ribbons by the Russian Mud Season and terrible Winter.

When the Grande Armée was forced to retreat was the moment Toris could see a clear change in Russia's treatment of him. In a way Ivan was acting like a child throwing a fit because of a disagreement between schoolmates. The country would rarely speak directly to him and spoke even less about what his plans were for his satellite province. A small glimmer of light did reenter Toris's life when Russia expanded after the end of the Napoleonic Wars. Russia had gained control of the Duchy of Warsaw. He was reunited with Feliks.

"I don't like this, Toris," His flaxen haired friend muttered as the two walked around the newly walled in garden. "I don't like being here one bit."

"You've said nothing else since you got here."

"I mean it, Toris. This place is godforsaken. Just look around us! There's nothing here but barren lands and brutish dwellers carving out vague unimportant living in a world forgotten." The blonde threw his hands up in anger. "How did we get here?"

"Maybe there's something in the water?" Toris tried to joke with little effect. "The people here are resilient. They beat us fair and square."

"Are you content living as a servant here?" His friends emerald green eyes watched him with suspicion. "If I look closer, will I find a dog's collar on you? Have you become a tame little pet?"

"No," he blurted out defensively. "Not at all!"

Feliks slapped his shoulder hard. "That's what I want to hear!"

"That hurts…" Rubbing his shoulder, Toris could tell the Polish nation was scheming something. "What are you up to, Feliks?"

"Revolt."

At first Toris thought he had heard the wrong word, but the serious look on Felik's face swept away his doubt. Looking around for anyone that could possibly over hear them, Toris replied with eyes full of fright. "Be careful what you say, Feliks. That's not something to joke about."

"And what makes you think I'm joking?" he retorted. "Toris, if we both revolt at once we can break out from under the Tsar's rule."

"Don't you remember how the Russian armies fought when our common wealth was dissolved? What makes you so sure we'd succeed?"

"There were more of them then." Feliks looked up at the window to Ivan's room. "Now that it would be us against him, I know we can win."

"Feliks are you blind? What about Napoleon's armies? There were more than Frenchmen fighting with him. It's too risky."

"Napoleon attacked Russian soil. That was his mistake. We'll be fighting on our own native soil. All that we're doing is pushing his men out, nothing more. We can go back to the way we were."

"I can't Feliks…"

"You what?!" Feliks placed both hands on Toris's shoulders. "Why can't you? What has that bastard done to you?"

"Nothing, Feliks. He hasn't done anything. I just can't fight him."

Feliks's grip tightened on his jacket's shoulders. "And what is stopping you?"

"Feliks, he's the girl with the scarf. The one from when we were young. I thought he was a girl back then, but I was wrong. I can't fight him."

"So what if he and she is the same person?" Toris could feel his friend's fingers digging deeper into the fabric. "What does then have to do with now?"

"I promised him, Feliks… I promised that I'd be his friend. Before we made our common wealth I offered to be his ally. The night of that ball celebrating our leaders' marriage, I gave him that scarf and promised as long as he was wearing it I would be there to help him. I can't break that promise, Feliks."

"The hell?!" Feliks let go of him and took a step back. "If figured you were obsessed with this girl because of some brainless childhood crush. Now that you know she's really this brutish man you're still upholding such a stupid pledge? Do you love him Toris? Is that what it is?"

"No, Fel-"

"Listen, everyone! This guy likes men! Brutish, sweaty, disgusting men!"

Toris slapped his hand over his friend's mouth and held it firmly. "That is not it Feliks. The person I knew back then was friendless and living on their own. All this time I kept thinking of how I wanted to help this person and show them a way out of such a lonely existence. If I break from that line of thought now, what kind of person does that make me?"

"A smart one," Feliks replied as he pulled away from Toris's hand. "Do whatever the hell you want Toris, but mark my words. Being friends with that Russian bastard will bring you nothing but pain."

Those words were echoing in his ears now as Toris in a distant time was running from a dark doorway down a set of cellar stairs until he reached a floor lined with barred doors. Flinging open one cell's door, Toris dropped to his knees beside its tied up occupant. "He isn't her, Feliks! The fucking bastard isn't her! You were right! God damn it all, you were right!"

Xx

Feliks simply stared at him with exhausted eyes. For once the man seemed to know when to keep his silence. Toris took the alcohol he was still holding and began treating his friend's wounds. Every time the blond winced, he would offer an automatic apology.

"I was stupid, Feliks," he offered to break their silence. "I was too wrapped up in a stupid fairytale to see what was really going on in front of me."

"You were stupid," Feliks agreed.

"You always said our nations' revolts failed because I was not supporting them full heartedly. Then I screwed up after thirty years of independence. No use mentioning the occupation during the First World War. And this last war… I should have helped you when that stupid non-aggression pact was between those two assholes was being signed. God!"

"Like I said, you were stupid."

"What if we fight now?" Toris stopped cleaning a wound on Feliks's wrist. "What if we had others join us and revolted?"

"Shut up!"

"Feliks…"

"You were stupid then, don't be stupid now." Two bright clovers fixed him in a cold gaze. "The time for fighting passed. Who would join us, Toris? What could a band of rag dolls do to oppose that beast? No one will fight with you; No one on the inside that is."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Toris pulled up his sleeve to show new and old scars. "Do you see this Feliks? I put up with it then because I pitied a broken bird. What keeps me from enduring them now?"

"Patience."

"That's a worthless virtue!"

"You're angry now, I've been angry for countless years." Feliks's voice was like a dagger cutting deep. "If you want to break out, it will take time. Have faith in our people. Right now the whole world has its eyes on this USSR. Do you think they'll let us rot in hell forever? Let the political wheel break that cocky bastard. No nation no matter how strong has held so much power for so long. So for now we wait."

Silence feel like a brick wall around Toris. An Iron Curtain already separated him from half of the world and this new self imposed one sealed him away all together. All sorts of unidentifiable emotions were roaring through his mind all at once in a deafening windstorm.

"-is... oris… Toris!" Feliks was almost yelling; trying his best to call him back to the world. "Toris, are you listening?"

"I'm sorry." Toris looked back down t his friend. "What were you saying?"

"You should go back up now." From the raspy sound of his voice, it was clear that the Polish nation was border of passing out. "Go back and act as if nothing is wrong. Nothing has changed. When the time is right, this monster will bleed from the inside out."

He could not think of a response. Instead he fixed his friends hair before standing to his feet. With the door locked behind him, the walk down the hall seemed surreal. His steps were like waltzing on gelatin. When he exited the cellar, he could practically feel another person's eyes snare him in a thick web.

"You there, boy."

Stoic, Toris turned in the direction of the voice. A young lady with sharp blue eyes and long blond hair was inspecting him with a disapproving stare. From the looks of the dark rings forming under her yes she was sleep deprived. Some small patches of snow clung desperately to pieces of her clothing and strands of her fair hair.

"My big brother has instructed you to show me a room to stay in. We will be dining together later." Her voice seemed vaguely familiar, but Toris could not careless about the past at the moment. "Are you mute? I am talking to you."

"Yes, milady." Toris gave a shallow bow at the waste. "Please follow me."

And so he did as he was ordered. He acted as if nothing was different. Inside his chest a wounded heart beat for one purpose; he awaited the day his lands would be forever free of those violet eyes. Toris would bide his time until blue skies once more watched over him.

**XX Thank you for reading this until the end. Your views and comments are a great encouragement to me. Please look forward to the final installment of the "Who I Am" series. A Cold War one shot is waged as Ivan and Alfred discover who they will become as both super powers enter a nuclear struggle after an unfortunate misunderstanding. Thank you once more for **


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